


My Anchor and My Healer

by SteveLovesBucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Returns, Comforting Bucky, Comforting Steve, Crying, Crying Steve, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Homoeroticism, Hurt Steve Rogers, Love, Lovey Dovey, M/M, Male Slash, Men Crying, Post-Coital Cuddling, Protective Steve, Reunion, Reunion Sex, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Reunited lovers, Romance, Steve Angst, Steve Rogers Feels, Sweet, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 05:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteveLovesBucky/pseuds/SteveLovesBucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Winter Soldier/Bucky has been captured, Steve frets about what he will find once he is reunited with him. Fluff and angst. Warning: erotic content.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Anchor and My Healer

**Author's Note:**

> I adore Steve/Bucky! They are so cute together and I can tell how much Steve loves Bucky!

My Anchor and My Healer

 _"What happens now?"_ Steve wondered, _"Now that we've captured the Winter Soldier…captured Bucky… will he acknowledge me? I know that he's in there, but god knows what he's been through that he's been turned into the Winter Soldier-!"_

It had been all that Steve could do to stop himself from running to Bucky with open arms when he, Tony, and Natasha had cornered the Winter Soldier at the waterworks. He could not thank Clint enough for acting as a sniper to tranquilize the Winter Soldier. Now that S.H.I.E.L.D. had him in their custody, what would come next?

"Steve", Natasha's voice came softly from the doorway, "He's asking about you."

Steve immediately looked up from his desk and whirled around to meet her gaze. "What?"

"He's still pretty confused, and who can blame him? But he remembers you. Fury is still very wary about him."

Steve winced. He knew that Fury was right to interrogate Bucky and hold him in a cell, but it wrenched his heart painfully. God knows what the Soviets had done to him, what information they had given to him that would make him too risky to accept into S.H.I.E.L.D., what nightmares that he might have to share…

Fury had heard Steve over and over demanding to see Bucky, even if it was only through a window. Fury knew that Steve would find a way, but for the time being he had to restrict access to the Winter Soldier, although Steve remained convinced that he was still Bucky, still the man who he loved.

Natasha noticed Steve's great blue eyes turn glassy. He realized why she was staring and quickly turned away, blinking hastily. He couldn't help it. He knew that people of this era were more tolerant of men expressing their feelings, but he and Bucky grew up in a time where the unspoken rule was that men were supposed to be strong and unfeeling. Steve and Bucky had forgotten how to cry at an early age, even though they had become more able to express feelings by the time of Bucky's supposed death.

"Steve," Natasha cautiously stepped toward him, "It's all right".

The man known as Captain America, who fought so valiantly in battle and boldly risked his life for the sake of others, was startlingly different when out of uniform. The big, muscular lug of a man was no innocent but he was acutely kind-hearted and sensitive. He remained a bit awkward around women, but his compassion was evident. The Avengers themselves could still hardly believe the difference. But it was a first for Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, to see Captain America struggling to regain control of his distress.

"I'm sorry Natasha, I don't mean to-," Steve began to say.

"Steve," Natasha continued, reassuringly placing her hand on his shoulder, "You don't have to apologize for anything. You saw someone you love fall and be presumed dead seventy years ago. You're in a world totally different from the 1940s. You've had to fight the Winter Soldier knowing that he was Bucky. And now he's in our custody and we're trying to coax him out; you have every right to your feelings."

"Yes…" Steve murmured, his voice growing husky from the barrage of his suppressed grief, anger, regret, and overwhelming yearning, "I know. But it's still so hard…" his voice trailed off as he breathed deeply to suppress the pain mounting inside him.

"Rogers," Natasha and Steve turned to see Tony standing in the doorway, "The Winter Soldier, also known as James Buchanan Barnes, requests your presence."

Steve froze, unsure of what to do. Bucky had asked for him! His heart felt like it would burst.

"What? But has Fury given his consent to this?" Natasha asked Tony, one eyebrow cocked.

Tony barely had time to dodge Steve as the strapping blond rushed to the holding cells.

\-----

His mind was racing even faster than him, wondering what he would confront when he and Bucky saw each other.

The figure in the cell was quiet, unresponsive, sitting on the floor, staring into space. But he was there, he was alive, and he wanted to see Steve.

"Bucky!" Steve gasped, catching the attention of the bedraggled man in the cell. Bucky's startled (yet blank) expression melted. The stony façade of the Winter Soldier crumbled away as his face twisted in pain and he stumbled to his feet, his arms reaching toward his friend.

"Hey, stop-!" the guard yelped in surprised protest, but Steve ignored him as he forced the door open.

"Steve!" Bucky gasped as they collapsed to their knees in a desperate embrace, hardly daring to believe that this was happening. Their lips locked, both of them savoring the kiss that they had both craved for so long. The flood of hormones and emotions swallowed the pair and they found themselves crying in joy and relief.  
"Bucky! Oh my god, Bucky-!" Steve sobbed into his friend's raven hair, "You're here-!" Both of them were crying openly in full view of the guards, but they didn't care.

Bucky could count on one hand the number of times that Steve had cried in front of him. And he was still getting used to the blond man's greater size. The torture by Zola and the horrors of his training as the Winter Soldier were etched in Bucky's mind, Steve remembered vividly Bucky strapped to the table and his poor body falling from the train. Both were disoriented and confounded by this strange, new environment. But they were together again. They were alive. They were safe from harm. They had each other. That was all that mattered.

Craving the warmth of skin against skin, Bucky opened his prison jumpsuit and he and Steve hurriedly stripped of their shirts, embracing just as hurriedly. The soft warmth kiss of their bodies was sweeter than they remembered. But the torture marks from Zola's laboratory were still visible on Bucky's precious skin. It jolted Steve's heart.

The image of Bucky's falling body haunted Steve every night as he tried to sleep, made all the worse since he could not dull the pain with alcohol, "I almost lost you twice. Bucky, can you ever forgive me?" he wept into Bucky's neck, the sweet scent of his lover overwhelming him, a fragrance that he thought was lost to him forever.

"I love you," Bucky gasped as he buried his face in Steve's neck, "Oh god Steve, I love you-!" As the Winter Soldier and as an ordinary soldier before that, he had seen enough of destruction and death. He felt Steve's heart pounding against his own and their bodies rack with sobs and he silently gave thanks.

"You're so beautiful, so beautiful… Oh god, it's been too long," Steve moaned, "Oh, Bucky I love you…!" A sea of pain had succeeded in its fight to escape, but the reunited lovers had found succor in the long-awaited embrace.

Losing their balance, they tumbled to the floor, but the cold concrete was nothing to them.

No longer were they superheroes, no longer Captain America and the Winter Soldier. They were just themselves, Steve and Bucky, two boys from Brooklyn, two men who loved each other. The small crowd outside the cell door was forgotten and it was just the two of them.

Steve broke away from the embrace and lowered his head. Bucky looked on, confused, "Steve…?"

Wincing at the scars on Bucky's chest, Steve bent his head and kissed his lover's breastbone, a kiss meant for the heart that was beating beneath it. He kissed it again and nestled his face to it, giving thanks to dear life.

Bucky's careworn, tear-streaked face broke into a smile and he ran his hands through Steve's golden hair, cradling his head. He had forgotten how sweet that Steve smelled, how badly that he wanted to hold him.

"Ahem-!" Fury's voice cut through their reverie, "I will let this one slide, but next time that you step out of bounds I will not be so forgiving."

Glancing at the assembled crowd and then back at each other, they silently agreed that they would indeed appreciate a bit more privacy. Silently, Steve scooped Bucky into his arms and carried him from the cell. They were faintly aware of the two guards who followed them back to Steve's quarters. Neither cared. They would not be denied each other again.

"I remember when I could do this with you," Bucky smiled as he kissed Steve's naked shoulder.

"I guess I have to return the favor now," Steve said wryly, delighted at the caress.

"I don't care, though," Bucky replied, "I don't care anymore about who carries who. I have you."

"You're so light," Steve crooned, his eyes wandering to Bucky's metallic arm, "Your poor arm…! I'm so sorry…!"

"Don't be," Bucky's eyes were soft, "What more could you have done?"

"I know… but it kills me to think that I could have spared you from…" Steve could say no more.

"You're here now," Bucky's voice was equally soft.

\-----

The bed felt sweet as it yielded to Bucky's weight. Steve, unable to take his eyes away from Bucky's eyes, felt his hand trail to the waistband of his lover's underwear. Bucky broke from his reverie for a moment.

"Oh sure, soldier; undress a guy without even asking," he said wryly.

Steve blushed as he smiled, half-amused and overwhelmingly relieved that Bucky was acting like his old self. They knew that there would be problems for both of them to sort out, but for the moment they enjoyed that they were together again.

Steve's smile dropped as his expression became tender again. He ran his fingers over the burgundy nubs that adorned Bucky's alabaster chest, his hands caressing over his lover's torso, over the scars of long-ago trauma.

He blinked, feeling tears sting his eyes again.

"What's wrong, babe?" Bucky reached over and cupped Steve's face, gazing at him intently.

Steve bent his head and desperately kissed the scars on Bucky's torso, scars that had long since healed. Bucky pulled him into an embrace, feeling his lover's hot breath on his chest as he gasped brokenly.

"I should have been there sooner…! And on the train… I should have pulled you out of the way…!"

"Shhh… gosh Steve, you'll make me start all over again…!"

Breaking the embrace for a moment, they stripped off the rest of their clothes and settled in the bed together. They ran their hands over each other, sliding up and down their backs, their legs, their buttocks, their arms, their chests… they savored the sweet scent of each other's hair, their skin, the scent of pure virility, fragrances that they had longed for.

"I missed you so much," Steve whispered into Bucky's neck, running his hand through the smaller man's rumpled, raven locks.

"I missed you, too…!" came the soft reply as Bucky lifted his head and planted a kiss on Steve's lips. Steve was only too eager to return it.

Their nakedness reminded them of just how long it had been since they had last been together. Delight swept through Steve as he felt Bucky's soldier at attention against his own.

A sly smile crossed Steve's face and he blushed as he gazed into Bucky's sky-colored eyes, which smiled in return.

"You're such a sap," Bucky said fondly as he cupped Steve's face, "Blushing like it was our first time all over again."

"Well it is," Steve remarked, "It might as well be, sergeant. We've been apart too long…"

Their mouths caught in an eager kiss, tongues dueling. Steve rolled them over so that Bucky was on his back. Untangling his mouth, Steve rose away from Bucky and knelt before him to catch his breath, taking in the sight of his lover on his back.  
He was so beautiful; his lips and cheeks rosy; his burgundy nipples peaked with arousal; his porcelain skin so supple; his thighs like white stallions and opened for him; the hardened staff of his manhood and his virile fruit surrounded by the black, silken nest of his loins; his face conveying a mix of desire and tenderness… Steve trembled.  
"I'm down here, soldier," Bucky remarked wryly, his eyes wandering down Steve's heavily muscular form, "Are you about to shoot enemy troops or are you just happy to see me?"  
Steve chuckled, "Yep, I'm happy to see you!" He squeezed Bucky's knee before moving in for another kiss, "I've missed your humor… I've missed your gorgeous body… I've missed you…"  
Bucky's slow smile indicted agreement. He knew the feeling. Steve looked like an angel with his golden hair, big azure eyes, and his masculinely beautiful face... the very angel who had saved him from Zola and Schmidt. Steve's great barrel chest and his beautiful, heavily muscled form were cushioned by Steve's equally beautiful rosy skin over the tight muscles. The pink nubs of his chest were taut from excitement, his lips were turgid and pink, his own virile fruit was also hardened with desire in the golden thatch at the union of his luxurious thighs… his expression, too, was one of arousal and love.  
"Stop teasing me, Steve…! Take me…!"  
Bucky gasped as Steve's lips tickled his neck, moving over his Adam's apple before trailing back to his mouth for another kiss. Steve ran his fingertips up and down Bucky's arms, legs, his shoulders, his pectorals, kissing his way down Bucky's body, kissed his way to his nipples, savoring the tight bud against his lips and tongue.  
Bucky arched his back, moaning, "Oh, Steve…! Steve…!"  
Steve nearly came at the sound, happily kissing down toward Bucky's navel, running his hand through the perfumed thicket in which his destination quivered, peering from under its velvet hood. He rested his face on Bucky's loins before kissing the pale flesh, overjoyed that his lover was with him again.  
Bucky yelped softly and urged his hips upward as Steve kissed the pearlescent bead that sat at the tip of his arousal.  
"Yes Bucky, yes…! Oh god, but I love you…!" Steve thought happily as he wrapped his mouth around his lover.  
Almost instantly, Bucky bowed his back, moaning as he thrust his hips into Steve's face, spurting into the mouth of his love.  
Steve sucked eagerly, delighting in Bucky's ecstasy.  
Bucky lie gasping, his head pressed deep into the pillow, his face flushed, tears seeping from his eyes.  
Steve kissed Bucky's supple belly and joined him on the pillows, gazing warmly on Bucky as he recovered from his release.  
"You're so beautiful, Bucky…!" he murmured.  
Bucky turned his head to look at Steve, smiling broadly, "You're too sweet…!"

 

Steve purred as Bucky kissed his neck and across his shoulders, working his way over the creamy hillocks of his pectorals to Steve's tight nipples, teasing the pink buds as he flicked and sucked them. Steve moaned, then felt Bucky's lips kissing his breastbone. Kissing his heart.  
His lust forgotten for the moment, Steve wept for joy and he fluffed Bucky's hair.  
Bucky smiled at the caress, resting his head before resuming his kisses, edging to Steve's navel. Steve writhed in anticipation as Bucky kissed toward his hip, towards his flank. Bucky giggled, knowing how sensitive that Steve's hips and thighs were.  
Steve yelped slightly and pressed his head deep into the pillow. Bucky nuzzled and kissed the soft, pale flesh of Steve's flank, stroking his fingers up and down Steve's torso and arms, very aware that Steve's arousal stood just beside his face.  
Bucky's touch thrilled Steve. The dark-haired soldier kissed and massaged his way down Steve's milk-white thigh before returning back up the inner thigh. Steve could barely restrain himself as Bucky gradually reached his groin and he yelped as Bucky kissed his fruits.  
Bucky looked up with a sly smile at Steve, "What do you think? I've conquered Captain America!"  
Steve's soft laugh was music to Bucky's ears. "My god, but I love you…" Steve whispered as his laughter subsided, thoroughly enchanted.  
"I love you too, Captain…" Bucky smiled back.  
Steve's virile scent inflamed Bucky and he took his love's quivering member, its cowl retracted, and eagerly returned the favor.  
Steve lifted his back from the bed, his hips aloft, "Bucky…my god…Oh Bucky…!"  
He almost sobbed as his orgasm overtook him. Bucky cupped and squeezed Steve's bottom, coaxing him, jubilant as he engulfed the ecstasy of Captain America.  
Steve gasped heavily as he lie spent on his back, his face rosy, his body spent. Bucky settled beside him, his face was aglow as he curled an arm around Steve, watching him slowly recover from his throes of passion. He suddenly seemed so vulnerable. Despite his newly acquired muscle mass and his courage as Captain America, he was still that scrawny, awkward, sweet-hearted boy that he had adored for so long. Bucky was overwhelmed as he leaned in and kissed Steve's brow.  
Steve gingerly turned his head to face Bucky, who looked radiant. Steve returned the smile and reached for him as Bucky came in with a hearty kiss.  
"I love you, Bucky…!" Steve's eyes were glassy as they broke the kiss and gazed at each other, "I can't stand the thought of losing you again…!" fear emanated from his face and voice as he cupped Bucky's face.  
"Shhh…" Bucky crooned, kissing Steve's tears away, "I'm here now…! We'll worry about that later. It's just us, tonight."  
Steve nodded weakly before the smaller man reignited the kiss. Lips and tongues danced while hands soothingly stroked naked skin. Bucky rested his head on Steve's broad chest, nuzzling in happily as the bigger man enveloped him in an embrace.  
"I love you, Babe…" Bucky murmured into Steve's breastbone as the strapping blond tamed Bucky's wavy, midnight hair.  
Steve's heart swelled at these words and he squeezed his lover gently, hand still entwined in the smaller man's raven locks, "I love you, soldier…! More than you'll ever know…!"  
Bucky smiled tiredly as he rested himself on Steve's heaving chest, grateful for the comforting rise-and-fall. It calmed his mind, dulling the memory of his captivity by Nazis and by Soviets. The embrace and the steady beat of Steve's heart soon lulled him to sleep.

Steve knew as he held Bucky, as his dark hair kissed his neck, that there would be nightmares and panic attacks, but he didn't care. He wanted to help him heal and he didn't care what it took. He felt a warm, even breath against his chest, the welcome weight of his closest friend, smelled Bucky's sweet scent, and he silently rejoiced.

\-----

Steve was awakened by moaning. "Bucky-!" he realized.

"No-! No-! Don't-!" Bucky moaned several unintelligible things, but it was clearly a nightmare. Steve held his twitching lover and kissed him on the forehead.

"Wake up, sweetheart-! It's all right, you're all right- you're safe-!"

Bucky awakened and hid his face on Steve's shoulder. His lean frame was cold with sweat.

"It was the gulag...!" Bucky gasped, "They...! They interrogated me...! They stripped me naked-! They tied me up outside in the middle of winter-! They-!"

He was sobbing piteously. Steve wept silently as he held him and rocked him. He knew that he could do nothing but hold Bucky and be there for him.

"Shhh...! Let it out, soldier...! I'm here...! I'm here and I'm not going to lose you again...!" Steve crooned, holding him until Bucky's sobs diminished to husky breathing.

"Hold me, please...!" Bucky's voice was small and meek. Steve gladly obliged him as they settled back in, smiling in relief as Bucky's terror subsided and he nuzzled into the embrace.


End file.
